Posted 10 hours ago
Posted 10 hours ago
  1. Me: I'll sleep early tonight and get a good 8 hours
  2. Me: *watches entire season of tv show*
  3. Me: *reads every book i own*
  4. Me: *goes on quest to find the holy grail*
Posted 10 hours ago
Posted 10 hours ago

internetexplwhorer:

weeping-angels-take-the-ponds:

vonmunsterr:

ghostsneverleave:

insanihty:

xxarcane:

youremybrandnewday:

sp0tlessmiind:

tiptreecrossing:

livingmywayeveryday:

vickified:

If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?

lol yes, so then i can shave.

     One minute, 37 seconds.
     My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None.
     One minute, 29 secods.
     I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria.
     One minute, six seconds.
     Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me.
      54 seconds.
     Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t  my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls?
     30 seconds.
     Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously.
     25 seconds.
     That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction.
     20 seconds.
     I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up.
     19. Faster.
     18. Quicker.
     17. More rapid.
     16.  It’s racing.
     Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever.
     My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me.
     10 seconds.
     The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate.
     5. My heart has given up entirely.
     4. I stop walking.
     3. Just waiting left.
     2. Everything is about to change.
     1. Deep breath.

     0000 d 00 h  00 m  00 s

     Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones.
     “Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?”
     As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.”

“Thats weird…” I checked my wrist, the clock had just hit the 30 second mark but I looked around and there was no one there. I was a worrisome guy overall but I felt justified, I mean today was the day I was meeting my soul mate. Not that I expected my dream girl to be in the storage closet at work but still I was nervous. 

Walking out with a box the boss had requested I walked back to my cash register setting it on the shelf. My wrist hit the 20 second mark

19 seconds

18 seconds

Where was she? I could not help but get worried that an error would pop up or that she was gone and my timer would run out with no response. I panicked, I’d change my own fate if I had to. Running out of time I hurried through the back door. There was a park outside and maybe I was supposed to be there to find my soul mate. 

10 seconds

9 seconds

A faint ding of the doorbell hit my ear. Wait was that it?? She was here! I turned around running back to the counter. “Don’t worry I’m just in the back!”

I ran out looking at my wrist as it hit zero. Out of breath “Hi I’m Matt!” Sticking out my hand for a handshake it was met by a firm hand. Meeting my soulmate’s eyes for the first time they spoke. 

“I’m Steven.” The man gave a smile “It’s nice to meet you.” 

 I watch my friend carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her pretty face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she’d meet them on a beach at sunset or something.
 ”I mean that’s ok - these things can’t always be romantic I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it’s not like you can plan it to be romantic I just hoped, I mean everyone hopes don’t they-” she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just a big day for me you know.” Yes I do know. You’ve been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her.
 ”Don’t worry. You nervous? You’ll be ok, you always are,” I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It’s selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. In now, precisely 1 minute 30 seconds.
 She smiles at me, but it isn’t quite reaching her eyes. She’s restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can’t imagine. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds.
 ”Hey. I’ll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I’ll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me,” I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “Good luck.” I hope it sounded sincere.

 The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She’s shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn’t interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it’s full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can’t see anyone else at the bus stop. But she’s only 18, she can’t end up with a 80 year old. 
 I turn around and look at her - she’s breathing hard. The bus driver asks if she’s ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it’s more of a grimace.

 I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.

 Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a boy jumps on the bus. He has that same frantic look in his eyes. I breathe out with relief.
 ”Yeah get on, we’re running late,” the driver says, taking his ticket. The boy looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. He’s tall and handsome, holding a sketchbook. I smile slightly; my friend hates art.
 4 seconds
 He spots her.
 3 seconds
 His eyes widen as he walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope.
 2 seconds
 My friend stands up too, that same rope tying her to him.
 1 second -
 ”I was worried the bus would leave. No way could I miss meeting my soul mate!” he jokes, though he looks just as nervous as she. They smile at each other as they both sit down together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about.

 I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly I’m crying. Hot tears dropping down my cheeks.

 I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it. 

 The numbers have never changed.

 They’ve always been at 0.

Oh my god that last one…. My heart… The feels….

AGH ALL OF YOU WRITE A BOOK THIS VERY INSTANT. PLEASE.

this is beautiful and everyone needs to read it

i hate you tumblr, fucking breaking my goddamn heart

Then, one day, you’re having dinner with a friend you’ve known for as long as you can remember (or perhaps a friend of the family), and you finally talk to them about your counter. You’re crying, explaining that it’s always been at 0, and so you must not have a soul-mate.

Their eyes widen. Tears begin to form, and they throw their arms around you.

"Mine has always been at 0 too."

And that’s when you know…

10 seconds: the doorbell rings, i get out of my chair

5 seconds: i give the man my money

0 seconds: i open the box. it is the most glorious pizza i have ever seen in my life.

Just imagine that when you’re just starting kindergarten and they teach you about the time on your wrist, and you raise your hand in confusion and say “Mine isn’t working.” and one other kid says “Mine too.” And it’s the first kid you met on the first day of school. And your teacher just smiles at you two and you just sit there, young and confused until it sinks in a bit later.

The movie this is based off of is called timer you guys should really watch it

(Source: illness-and-instruments)

Posted 10 hours ago

wickedtheory:

DEADPOOL - “Oh, F***K Me” (High Quality) - Here’s that test footage that has been popping up all over since it leaked at comic-con, featuring Ryan Reynolds as The Merc With The Mouth - in crisp, clear video! Looks so much better! Watch now before it gets taken down.

Posted 10 hours ago

wolvensnothere:

thepurposeofplaying:

alljustletters:

narcomanic:

narcomanic:

i’m pretty sure this twitter account is how sexting works in night vale

i mean really

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what is going on here

this is officially my new favourite thing

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thank you for sharing it with us

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SEXTS FROM THE VOID

Posted 10 hours ago

nakedcuddles:

appropriately-inappropriate:

vickiexz:

penjolina:

piddlebucket:

randomstabbing:

hilariousslut:

aliveforalittlewhile:

warcrimenancydrew:

historywhore:

warcrimenancydrew:

do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?

This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.

^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.

In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes. And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.

It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.

I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.

“NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.

“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.

Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.

same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM

when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,

and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black circles) if i was walking down the street.

so of course i came back with

moving out of the way for them as i walked.

he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.

i find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. the whole limp-wrist thing? that’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.

taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed.

It’s also why you can seriously freak people out if you’re a woman by sitting back in your chair and draping your arm over the backrest of the one beside it.

Try it.

It’s claiming space, and more importantly, it’s powerful body language. In primates (including humans), the individual that “opens” its chest—that is, leaves it open to attack—is the most dominant of them, precisely because it shows a confidence that no one WILL attack you.

Look at someone who’s comfortable vs someone who’s uncomfortable—the uncomfortable person will inevitably cross their arms or cover their chest to in an instinct to protect the thoracic cavity.

So, when you want to look HELLA confident, open up your chest and make direct eye contact. It feels weird (for women!) at first, but it’s the fastest way to freak a dude out. They genuinely do not know what to do when a woman displays behaviour they recognize as confident.

This was interesting. Literally never thought about it before. 

Posted 10 hours ago

girly-fanatic:

reichenbackdatassup:

wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

100000000 points to mom.

(Source: spockdarlin)

Posted 10 hours ago
Posted 11 hours ago

unleashthedragonfleet:

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Don’t be upsetti, have some spaghetti

Posted 11 hours ago
  1. fun first date ideas: overthrow ur government w/ the bae
Posted 11 hours ago

janebuzjane:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

rebelside:

But seriously do you ever think that all those who died in the battle of Hogwarts probably went on the chocolate frogs’ cards . And Teddy opening one before going on the train to Hogwarts and seeing his parents smiling at him, so they were actually there to see him off on his first year.

how fucking dare you

once i finish crying im gonna fuck u up

Posted 11 hours ago
Posted 11 hours ago
Until the lion has his historian, the hunter will always be the hero.

African Proverb 

This proverb exists in different forms in many parts of Africa

"Until lions have their own historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter" (Igbo, Nigeria).

"Until lions start writing down their own stories, the hunters will always be the heroes" (Kenya and Zimbabwe).

Black/African history has always being taught/told from the perspective of White American/European colonisers. We need to reclaim our history and culture. No more white African Queens, Kings and Gods, there needs to be a true representation of African history and culture in the media. 

(via beautiesofafrique)

Posted 11 hours ago

franaticpants:

i-wakeupstrange:

nathanielemmett:

Some FREAKING AWESOME Harry Potter fan art of the marauders creating the map and Fred and George later discovering it.

#i just want everyone to remember #that out of these six people #only one is alive

Well you must be the life of the party